"An archeologist
is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets,
the more interested he is in her." Agatha Christie (1891-1976)
Most of us are not married to an archeologist, however, there is a
message
here to all of us who are aging. Be pleased with your body.
As we grow
older, our bodies change. We look into the mirror, and it
reflects back and
aging body. Our breasts and buttocks may sag, our hair turns
gray, varicose
veins are pronounced, and there are more lines on ones' face each day.
We
may have scars, or are disfigured from operations. An illness
may cause our
bodies to change and we are not able to perform the way we once did.
These
physical conditions may make us feel that our bodies are no longer
desirable
for someone to love, touch and be close with. We may have a poor
body image
of ourselves which started a long time ago and had these feelings
increases
over time. It is hard to undo a life time of poor body image,
but, there are
ways to change and feel good about yourself. Remember, our
bodies are built
for please, and our pleasure zones last a lifetime.
Its natural to ask oneself "Am I desirable in a sexual way?"
The answer to
this question should always be "Yes." I am desirable;
my lover wants me for
whom I am." Understand that most people, even young adults,
dislike his or
her own bodies. However, it is important for you to accept your
whole body.
It is your life history. Knowing the intimate physical details
can help a
person love you even more that you think. Your body shows how
strong you
are; you may have survived a debilitating illness, or surgery or
childbirth.
A poor body image can cause difficulty in an imitate relationship.
If you
have a lover, don't question why they want to have an intimate
relationship
with you. They are with you because they want to be. Accept
that fact and
enjoy the intimacy. Take your partner's word that you're
attractive and
desirable. Don't judge your appearance by mass media standards.
Having an intimate relationship can help you feel good about yourself.
The
fun of sex is having someone that is wildly turned onto you and
enthusiastic
about you. Pleasure and intimacy are good for you, and help slow
the aging
process. Start feeling good about yourself by having pleasurable
sexual
contact.
Exercises for intimacy and fun:
1. Ask your partner to use massage oil on your body. Keep your
eyes close.
Feel their hands going over your body. Let your partner explore.
Remember,
your partner is there with you because they want to be with you.
It may
arouse your partner to see that their touch gives you so much
pleasure.
2. A sensual dance: Put soft music on and dance with your partner in a
slow
and sensual manner. Look into each other's eye. A
passionate kiss on the
lips and neck will enhance the intimacy of this exercise.
3. If you can't look straight into partners' eyes during
sexual intimacy
try a little game. Lie naked side by side, with each of you
opening your
left eye. You can see each other but without the sense of being
seen.
4. Fantasy: You may be uncomfortable with your body. Try a
costume or sexy
lingerie that covers the parts of your bodies that are uncomfortable
to
reveal. The costume allows intimacy until you are ready to
reveal your body
to your lover.
5. Let your lover treat you as a sex object: Allow your partner
to say
positive and sexy things to you. Keep down negative feedback
that comes from
inside you. Listen to your lover!
6. Communication: Communicate to your partner your feelings about your
body
image. Allow your partner to verbalize their feelings about you
and what
they need from you. Always remember, they would not be there if
they did not
want to be.
7. Erotic Notes: Leave erotic notes on your partner's pillow:
think of
yourself as Goddess of love and write down all the things you need to
replenish your inner being.
8. Senses of humor: Laughter is a catalyst for a sense of
connection with
your partner. Learn how to laugh with your partner. Tell
jokes to each
other. Laughter helps and uncomfortable situation to be more
pleasant.
In addition to intimacy exercises, you have to be in touch with your
inner
self. Remember, to tell yourself, that you're desirable at least
10 times a
day. When you start to feel good about yourself; it makes it
easier for
other people to feel good around you. Being sexual will come
from your inner
being and it will radiate throughout your body.
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